1/17 LJ

S:Genesis 42:24-25 NASB

He turned away from them and wept. But when he returned to them and spoke to them, he took Simeon from them and bound him before their eyes. Then Joseph gave orders to fill their bags with grain and to restore every man's money in his sack, and to give them provisions for the journey. And thus it was done for them.

O:
Joseph was done wrong. No doubt about it. There is no such thing as hurtful than to be abandoned bu your own family. I don't know how Joseph did it. How he could look straight in his brothers eyes and not be filled with rage to throw them all into prison. Instead he shows them kindness and refills their sacks with need. I wonder what his weeping was about.  I wish the Bible was a bit more clear on what kind of weeping. Clearly, he trusted till years later, the dream he dreamt. And maybe he was weeping out of gratitude to know that Gods dream and promise came true not to glorify Joseph but as the larger plan to rescue his family.

A:
I can't stand Kerry and Jane. I really don't know how they can be the way they are and boast about their strong work ethics and how wonderful of a coworker they say they are. No ability to sensr how difficult and disrespectful they make other's worklife. But for whatever reason I can't seem to come even remotely close to what Joseph is doing for his brothers who backstabbed him. He is going above and beyond that. I want to change and let go of that area and it will require constant ..sadly daily forgiving and daily coming to Jesus for strengthen and grace and love. 

P:
Lord I confess...myheart doesn't want to love Kerry and Jane. I know ever since they made a big ruckus about worj I can't be normal to them and loving like I was before. Help me to changr God. I know that is something you want but my heart resists more than follows. Please soften mg heart GOD. I know you died for them too. And I am forgiven....may I react to that one truth today. In Jesus name amen.

1.14 Lj

S:Luke 14:3-6 NASB

And Jesus answered and spoke to the lawyers and Pharisees, saying, "Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath, or not?" But they kept silent. And He took hold of him and healed him, and sent him away. And He said to them, "Which one of you will have a son or an ox fall into a well, and will not immediately pull him out on a Sabbath day?" And they could make no reply to this.

O:
Jesus has a reply that really put things into perspective. Who would not rescue their own son from pain or danger just because the law says so? Jesus is the movement of making love greater than law. To be so obsessed with law and doing things right over the idea of love is the trap I can get into this year as well.

A:
Jesus is the answer. He answered his own question in this passage. And bc of his response things were put into perspective. It made a lot more sense.
If Jesus' reply is what helps me put things into perspective whether Im sure or not then I need to be paying close attention to His words and not others. Love is greater anf should have higher priority than law. Its law which makes one lose thr ability to feel and give love...and even freedom. What are. Some areas where I am feeling like I need to play by the law than love? Prolly in my marriage. I could write a book of broke laws each monh and gripe and complain about it but it would defeat the purpose of love. Maybe in my work relationships I lack love towards. Jane that Iam going by the rulebook too much. How do I break this? I need to ask God for help definitely and learn to practice lovr not law or else Ill miss the point.

P:
Jesus, retune my perspective to be fixed on Love only. I confess God that I am still going by the book and holding things in my heart by the book. I know Jesus I am applying the book rules in my marriagr. I confess it as sin and as unloving attitude towards JP and Jane. Lord please change my heart and help me love away from the law. In Jesus namr amen.

1.10 lj

<p>S:Luke 10:41-42 NASB</p>
<p>But the Lord answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her."</p>
<p>O:<br>
A lot may look down upon Martha and say man she missed it completely. Bu id like to say otherwise. She wanted excellence..and she strived for it. But it consumed her where should couls not enjoy Jesus.I mean Jesus is sitting in your house visiting and I would be torn do I serve him or just be with him. Inmyself I see the same battle. And Jesus says thatI am worried about too many things and Im missing the target:Jesus Himself.</p>
<p>A:<br>
What perfect timing to hear this message and be reminded as BUILD is restarting back up. I do not want to be consumed or worried about specific things that happened or didn't happen and should have..I want to just focus on Jesus while striving for excellence in the process. Its hard for me tp do bc I am so task oriented and that's where my satisfaction comes from. I want that to change this year in ministry. I don't want to let ministry be my Lord. I want Jesus to be and ..I really want to enjoy Jesus more this year. It will be a battle I can feel it....</p>
<p>P:<br>
Lord reign fully in my heart today. You are worthy and I am not. You may do or ask of me whatever You wish..I ask that I may hear and obey quickly. Lord I pray that my heart would not wander from you and your design for CG, ministry, marriage, work relationships...Lord...help me understand that and embrace it but cherish You alone. Change this Martha heart and make it a Mary in this Martha society. Lord as CG slowly reunites I pray you would be the center Lord. Wisdom and discernment I ask in Jesus name. Amen. </u><br>
</p>

1.6.2012 LJ

S:
Luke 6:32-33 ESV

"If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.

O:
Jesus goes on this looong rant about what it really looks like to be like Jesus.its not like he borrowed moneg but he gives these examples that follow his concept of love. A timeless concept he mentioned was loving others. As followers of Christ its not about doing what the world does. It requires a shift of value, passions, viewpoints and goals including loving people. To become different and consecrated. Set apart and not into the world...one of the easiest traps is loving others. Loving the unloveable is hard andnot very beneficial. Its quite easy. Cop out.

A:
As I am challenged to consider what areas of my life is reasonable and unreasonable I wonder about what flows from me..love for the unloveable or love for the loveable. I can see myself gearing towards loveable people more than unloveable. Its just human nature I think. But its not Jesus nature. I want to become more like Jesus. My own personality and characteristic isn't hot or perfect therefore I need to continue to learn from the Master what it would require and look like. I told myself a resolution is to pray more and read the Word more this year so that Im not too far from Jesus.

P:
Jesus thank you for your loving kindeness..thank you for leading our family into a time of Word praise and prayer. God I know this year will be different. I want change and I want more of you so lead me and ajP to places where our faith must shine through. Lord keep my heart alive throughout this year. Please provide opportunities to love those. Who aren't. Help me God to become more like you during my intimate times wih You. In jesus name. Amen.

1.3.2012 LJ

S:
Luke 3:9-11 ESV

Even now the axe is laid to the root of the trees. Every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire." And the crowds asked him, "What then shall we do?" And he answered them, "Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise."

O:
John the Baptist responds to their question of "what then shall we do?" I wonder what the full context od the question really was?
"What should we so to avoid hell?"
"What should we do to get right with God?"
"What do I do to bear good fruit?"
It depends on what viewpoint they look at that message.
John responds to three groups: crowds, tax collectors and soldiers. Its strange how only three groups get addresses in this passage. Im not a tax collector or a soldier so I wasn't very engaged to that response but Johns response to the crowd stuck with me. Love others..

A:
If I have faith but no deeds my faith is nothing. If I havr deeds but no faith..it is nothing. They cannot be true without each other. I wonder ...did John speak to them the Gospel messagr and tie in deeds and faith to avoid the bandwagoners who wouldn't really follow Christ... I ponder and continue to reflect on my horrible focus on good fruits all the while missing the target of knowing Jesus as the goal of my life and ministry. Perhaps a tangible way is to love. "Love God and love others..nothing else matter'" such a simple but profound complicated motto for life..yet it makes sense.......did I miss loving others???

P:
God help me..teach me..show me how to love others. Fill my heart with compassion of You in me when I see others. Fill me with more of You(Love) so that I can love others in the overflow of my heart. Teach me Lord...please teach me and change me to love. In Jesus name amen.

1.1.12 LJ

S:Genesis 2:24-25 ESV

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

O: Leaving and cleaving is a process that is not easy but very important in the design of marriage- God's way. By doing so we fulfill the purpoae of God creating Eve for Adam so that they become one in flesh. In their marriage...or union they were not ashamed even if they were naked.
If I was to fast forward to current times, ideally even JP and I can stand unashamed in our marriage. Unashamed of our status, financial security, living situations, clothes we wear, food we eat, how we celebrate etc etx...because God has brought us together as one.

A: I am slowly beginning to see the reason for perseverance and endurance in the marriage. We haven't even approached our first year anniversary but a part of me feels like we have been together for such a long time as husband and wife. I love the picture of Adam and Eve here. How they were so into each other and one in all things that anything.beyond them didn't make them feel ashamed or embarrasses. They weren't looking at other couples and sayinf, man I wish I had that or had this." No..they were unashamed as they were before God and "others". I long for that this 2012.. as JP and I go through the storms of life together we do not want to be ashamed bc we have things that aren't as cool or nice as others. We don't want to feel bebind in status and life..rather I want to stand with JP before God and others and havr a sense of knowing we are saved by grace and sanctified on a daily basis therefore no shame. We speak of things with no shame, our debt our fights, our failures and disappointments..I hope this year we can grow deeper as one and experience more Jesus in 2012.

P: Lord, thank you for providing a husband. Thank you for answering prayers and workong in my heart and JPs regarding what and how you designed marriage to be. Lord I want to see great things with JP. I want to see God sized miracles and transformation in our marriage and hearts. We want more of you. Lord I ask you teach us how to be faithful, unashamed and obedient to the end...no matter what the cost is. Grow us..discipline us O God. In Jesus name amen.

10/18 LJ: But but but..no GO!

Acts 9:10-15 NLT

Now there was a believer in Damascus named Ananias. The Lord spoke to him in a vision, calling, “Ananias!”
“Yes, Lord!” he replied.
The Lord said, “Go over to Straight Street, to the house of Judas. When you get there, ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He is praying to me right now. I have shown him a vision of a man named Ananias coming in and laying hands on him so he can see again.”
“But Lord,” exclaimed Ananias, “I’ve heard many people talk about the terrible things this man has done to the believers in Jerusalem! And he is authorized by the leading priests to arrest everyone who calls upon your name.”
But the Lord said, “Go, for Saul is my chosen instrument to take my message to the Gentiles and to kings, as well as to the people of Israel.

O: God has a plan for Saul to convert into "Paul" to do a huge work. Unfortunately and understandably Ananais didn't. That's me too. Yet God in passion pursued Ananais to obey. Even with his 'But...' God already knows and comands him to go and do what He asks. Note he says there is a plan but still doesn disclose the details.

A: I am Ananais. I totally can relate to Ananais. How I too am prone to question God of the universe and my maker of His master plans. I would ask myself 1. Can I grow in my faith to not ask the who what wherr when why buts...and just go when the Lord calls the first time around? Iam always going to have unknown ls with God that eill require a lot of faith and obedience. To obey even if I don't know the full picture.

P:
Lord im trying to follow through with BUIKD and work and my marriage. But I know I fail and yet you cleanse me and set me on...to continue. Lord I want to be one not only called you Lord but lived out as Lord. Help me to follow even if I feel doubtful. Lord speak clearly to me like you spoke to Ananais. Make me faithfulJesus. In Jesus name amen.